


Not saying goodbye

by Pink_Error



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Ending Fix, IT Chapter Two Spoilers, M/M, Movie: IT Chapter Two (2019), Near Death Experiences
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2020-10-19 18:37:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20661872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pink_Error/pseuds/Pink_Error
Summary: A different ending for IT chapter two.orEddie makes it out alive.akaI cried during the majority of a horror movie





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously spoilers.  
I saw this movie with my friend earlier and that movie fucked me up man, in so many ways so my brain needed a way to fix the emotional pain i was in.  
There will be multiple parts.  
Reddie is so real  
also me and my friend def dressed up for the movie.

"Eddie..." Richie choked out holding onto his best friend, afraid of losing him once again. There was only a small sign of life left in the small brunette his hands clutched still tightly onto Richie's jacket, now stained from the blood all over him. "come on you.. your gonna make it through this" his breath picking up tears running slowly down his face.  
"Richie we have to leave" Beverly called out, her words barley getting to the dark haired man to worried about Eddie. "If we don't leave now we will all die Richie, we have to leave" Her voice gets closer and he feels an arm on his shoulder.

"I-Im not leaving him" he said dully. Eddies eyes looked so bare, so lifeless but he couldn't give up on the hope that he wasn't dead, he couldn't lose him again.  
"Richie hes gone" Bev said lightly, what Richie hadn't noticed was the underground collapsing around them, large stones splashing into the water falling all around them, she was right, they'd all be dead if they didn't get out there soon.

"We have to leave" another voice chimed in, he couldn't place whose voice it was, too afraid to look away from the dying Eddie. It would be idiotic for them to stay down their, their lifes would surly be lost, without the existence of the clown, his "world" couldn't exist. The underground continued to crumble, rocks almost hitting the red head, before he knew it mike and Ben were on his sides pulling him away from Eddies body, the pain and fear in their eyes as well. "Get off me!" he shouted "You can't expect me to leave him here like this" his voice cracked.  
"he's gone Richie and well be too if we don't leave now" Ben pleaded.  
"Eddie wouldn't want you to die like this, hed want you to keep living" Mike added the pair trying to convince him to leave.

The tears counting to fall down his cheeks "Don't act like you know what he would have wanted,I'm not leaving him down here, he's coming with us,,," With all his strength he pulled away from them falling to the ground the rocks scraping against his legs, he began to pick up his limp body the coat still around his torso. "I got you Eddie were gonna get out of here alive, I promise" A promise that relied only on hope and the delusion of the scared man.  
The others stood around knowing they'd loose Richie if the didn't get Eddie out of their, Ben and Mike helped Richie get Eddie up, Richie finally seeing all the walls crumbling around them "Well get out of here" he muttered to him.They had to get out of there, Richie couldn't see a life with out his best friend.  
The group picked up their pace and wondered threw the crumbling maze, The fresh smell of blood filled Richie 's nose. The gaping hole continued to spill with blood, the smell made him nauseated, wanting to throw up he continued to pick up his pace not ready to say goodbye. he wouldn't let him die, even if it meant risking his own life to get Eddie out of there.

With Eddie Still held tightly by the group made their way out of the maze and threw the crumbling house, just seconds after, the entire house fell before them as if it had exploded from the inside out. They were out, but Eddies conditioned worsened and Richies disillusion grew. "Richie please understand even if we can make it-" Bill was cut by the frantic dark haired man.  
"I don't have time for your bullshit lectures Bill, Were gonna save him" his throat tight. They helped Richie get the hurt man safely into his car. It wasn't the smartest idea for him to be driving but none of the could tell him otherwise his mind was too focused on saving his childhood best friend. In such a rush he hadn't noticed the other all got in the car, leaving their respected cars behind, Until what felt like forever they reached the nearest hospital. 

In a rush he hadn't cared to even shut the car off less alone remove the Keys from the ignition. he flung open the passenger door as the other began to exit the car as well gathering around him. He propped Eddie up and told him "We've made it to the hospital, they'll save ya Eds"  
"what are were gonna tell them?" Bill hesitated, saying a demon clown Attacked him wasn't exactly the most acceptable accuse for their friends condition. Eddie hadn't even thought about what they'd say to the Hospital staff "doesn't matter" Richie said making his way to the large glass hospital doors covered in small raindrops, distorting the image of them all standing their "Bullshit something just don't give it an ending" though a smile didn't even cross his face, the large hospital doors opened at their presence, and they all rushed inside. A large waiting room practically empty only a few random people in chairs and the receptionists. A Strong smell of bleach and cleaning products filled his scenes as if the whole place had been recently cleaned "He needs help!" Richie called out two receptions in scrubs stood up immediately at the sight of the bloody man, a trail of blood flowing from behind "Don't just stand there!" His voice more than aggressive out of pure fear. one of them stayed behind a phone. Shaking her hands as she dialed a number mumbling something about backup. One of the nurses wipped by with a wheelchair and Rich carefully sat him down his hand squeezing tightly onto Eddies as he placed him down. The nurses face went white as the coat fall down just enough to reveal part of the large open wound

Within seconds a group of official looking people, most likely a mix of Doctors, nurses and specialists, or whatever else would be required for something so server. without thought the nurse went to whip the dying man off to a room where he's been out of site and examined.

"Where are you taking him?" he questioned following the nurse and the group of people.  
"Im sorry sir but you can't follow us into the surgery room" he continued to follow him.  
"I can't leave him" he muttered out, afraid he'd die around total strangers.  
"I assure you he's in good hands, they'll do the best they can" she paused "you'll be updated" she said softly trying to calm down the situation.  
"The best they-" Richie was cut off by Beverly's hand on his wrist. her eyes were soft and sweet scared just as Richie but in different ways, "Bev, what are they gonna do to him?"  
He remember something "hes allergic to penicillin" he called out knowing it was a common sleep sedative, afraid that they would be into much of a rush to pull up old files. but he hoped they would there doctors after all.  
"There gonna try and save him" her eyes lowered  
"you act like they wont! he's strong he will push thru this..." his voice shaky, fearing she was right, fearing he would be gone. She pulled him close and he relied mostly on her to keep him from falling, he felt weak his legs wanting to give out and helpless, he couldn't bare thinking that Eddie wouldn't make it, or what he would do if Eddie died before he could tell him everything.

Losing Eddie would be losing a part of him. A part he couldn't get back, a part that would be worse than those 27 years without the brunette. after a moment she broke the silence. "Let's go see the others". They made their way to the rest of the group who all sat in the main waiting room.  
He broke away from Beverly's side and approached the front desk "Is there another waiting room, on the floor where they took him" he placed a shaky hand on the front counter.  
Hesitantly the lady moved back "No but there is one on 5" she said blankly almost afraid of the distressed man.

"You all need to sign in, if your going to another floor" she added looking at the large group of adults who looked as though they'd been severely beaten up. "I suggest you all stay in this hospital for a while," she said sliding a clipboard and pen over to him. her look rather odd. He hastily wrote his name down, his hand writing a complete mess, almost unreadable. He passed it over to the others who know stood by him, they all signed in, the ladys voice broke through once again "whos ever responsible for him needs to fill this out" she pulled a packet out setting a pen on top of it. Richie grabbed the packet without thought and they followed the large signs that pointed them to the elevator that would take them closer to the Hurt Eddie. as they were securely inside he spoke "What they hell was that? she thinks we had something to do with this?" he stammered.

"Well technically speaking we do.." Ben said stopping at Richies glare.  
"What do you expect them to think.. Eddies condition." she tried to find the right words "isn't exactly normal, and we look live we've been through hell and back" she tucked some of her red hair behind her ears.  
"We have" Richie said looking at them his eyes burning red with tears, he clutched onto the hospital packet.  
"As far as they know the 6 of us were attacked" Bill said breaking the silence "we don't know who, but there was a lot of them and they got to Eddie and almost killed him, they ran before w-we could get them" Bill said trying to make the story clear in case they were questioned by authorities. "we were hanging at our lodge room, going out to eat, it's been years since we've all seen each other, we were just getting together" The elevator beeped and the doors opened.

Richie noticed by passing some of the hospital signs he Eddie was only a floor above them in ICU. He always thought Eddie would have made a good doctor, but rethought it, that cute little germaphobe probably hated hospitals, and hated being alone in them. his heart ached knowing his current condition, and he hated not being able to do anything about it. hating that he couldn't have done more to help him. he snapped back into reality and realized he still started at the directory sign. he shook his head slightly and followed the others, who knew what the police would believe if they believed them at all, or of course if the even showed up. they all sat in the nook of the hospital waiting room much similar as the last but this one had a row of different beverages hot coffee and other hospital like greetings. 

"You don't think the cops are going to get involved do you?" Mike asked the others, they were all unsure, unsure of everything really. unsure of Eddies condition, unsure of how they would go back living "Normal" lives after everything that had happened these past few days, the challenges and struggles, their fears and limits have been tested and here they say worrying about the sake of their friend. He flipped threw the packet, mostly basic information who he was, what his past medical conditions were, and so fourth. he got lost in the simple packet.

Richie pulled his glasses off wiping the tears and blood from them, hi mind wandered off. Eddies blood still covering parts of his tattered clothes his smudged glasses wouldn't fully get rid of the blood. 'If Eddie survived this' thought Richie 'i'll tell him everything. everything I've been afraid too, everything that I have meant to tell him all those years ago... the things I should have'. He also would like to take him back to the bridge, the bridge he'd carved their initials into, as if they'd been together back then. But he knew why they'd never confessed feelings, it would have ruined things. Well he didn't exactly know that back then but he knew he couldn't have said anything, he was too afraid then. But all his fears of being rejected were gone, all his fears practicality were gone, besides of course loosing Eddie. He leaned his head back in the less than comfortable chairs, the unknowing was what worried him. the unknowing of the future, unknowing how they all would get thru this. after what felt like hours a tear must have fallen from his face because beverly's voice broke thru "Do you wanna go outside?" she asked a pack of cigarettes in hand. he nodded and got up,placing the packet and pen on the chair. They walked around for a moment before finding a balcony exit, which to his surprise covered them from the rain outside. the cold air filled his lungs and bit slightly at his skin "What fitting weather" he mumbled sarcastically not his normal self.

She sighed and took a seat and one of the tables that were lit by soft lights above, which gave just enough light to see where she was going. She opened up the cigarettes and pulled two out. One for her and one for him. She handed one to him and light them. He took a long drag of the cigarette putting his head back as he blew the smoke out, a cloud of gray smoke illuminated by the orange lights. "Bev if he makes it through this i'm going to tell him everything" he sighed "Everything ive been afraid of telling him, even if he doesn't understand it all.... I hope that he knows I care for him" he rambled, not even sure that bev would understand what he was talking about.

"I think he deserves to know" she nodded a small smile on her face "And you deserve for it to be off your chest" Richie looked rather surprised. "He knows you care for him, we all do" she lifted the cigarette to her mouth.  
"Y-you know?" he stuttered not being able to look in her eyes, the soft pitter of rain surrounded them "And your not disgusted" he said under his breath just loud enough that she heard it.  
"Richie, I get why you never told us, it was different back then, but your our best friend. no matter who it be that you like" she tilted her head at him. Her heart broke knowing the pain it had caused him to keep his feelings a secret for so long. And it hurt that he was afraid to even tell his closest friends.  
"Why does it have to take this?" he questioned "Take Eddie almost dying for me to realize that it's fine being who I am? Why wouldn't Didn't i just to tell him back then, when things were more simple, the first time we thought we killed that monster" he paused "when we weren't fighting death... how could I have forgotten all of that. How much I really loved him. well i never forgot him just...all these memories have been coming back the past few days, and they all reminded me what im afraid of loosing most" he placed his head in his hands, to embarrassed to keep going.

"We all forgot the past" Beverly said, this side of him was new not only to her but also to him, he'd never cried like this in front of any member of the group. "Eddie cares for you too Richie, you'd be lying to yourself if you didn't see it" the cold air getting to her. 

He took another drag off his cigarette, through the rain covered glass he could see the outlines of two men who look rather official approaching the group, bev must have seen it too "we better go in" he dropped his cigarette and smashed it out on the ground. before he reached the door she stopped him "Were a team, a group of losers who will get through this" she paused "Trash mouth" she smiled slightly. it brought a warm smile to his face. "You right bev.. one way or another"


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next two chapters will be slightly shorter but together be around the same length as these two. Hope yall enjoy

The pair made their way through the balcony doors, the two 'offical' looking men became more clear to him, as did the police badges they held out to the others. "You have to stay calm.. for Eddie" Beverly said under her breath trying to reassure the shaky hand man. he nodded slightly as the officers turned noticing the entrance of the the two others. 

One of them spoke up "I am officer Walker and this is my partner officer Butler" his voice rather deep, twisting something in Richie's stomach. The one who spoke seemed greatly older than the his smaller partner. "Now the condition of the man. What happened?" the other held a pen and notebook. the group all looked around at each other not sure who should speak up, who should try and convince the officers of the truth couldn't tell.

"We were all heading out for something to eat" Beverly spoke up and the officers turned their focus twords the red head. "We all grew up here as kids. It was our first few days together in years. I suppose we didn't figure this small town had changed so much" She paused implying the attack. the older officer raised a brow.

"You all were attacked?" he questioned looking around at the beaten up pair of friends, they all thought it looked believable.

"Yeah, they got to Eds before we could" some guilt lingered in his voice. The scruffy looking officer raised a brow at Richie. 

"Eds?" the deep sounding voice stared into Richies broken glasses, still smeared with the deep red liquid.

"Eddie Kasbrack, there that better?" he paused brows arching "I am Richie Toizer. That's Beverly Marsh" he pointed to the red head by his side "Ben Hanscom, Bill Denbrough, and Mike Hanlon" Richie's tone changed his look harsher than the others, they were going over small details while his friend was in critical condition. The second officer gave him a look, something softer than the piercing look of officer Walker. Still though the smaller man never spoke a word.

"Boy I suggest you change your tone with me" He then turned his attention to Bill not wanting to deal with Richie's hostility.

Richie found his spot back on the rock hard chair the unfinished packet sitting next to him. He wasn't one to loose his composure but he found the whole thing rather pointless, the police couldn't offer anything except more stress, to a situation they didn't belong in. He thumbed over the papers softly trying to calm down, wishing the police would mind their own god dam business.

"Now do you wanna recount the story?" he asked raising a brow to bill.

"Sir with all do respect, like Bevrly said, we don't know who attacked us. It happened all to fast, we tried the best we could but they got away before we could see who attacked us" the smaller framed officer continued to write things down.

"Where exactly were you?' 

Silence, Richies eyes glanced over the face of the officer, his words rather distrusting of their story. Until one of them spoke up "The old house, that one that's in shambles.. uh 29 Neibolt St ya know?" Mike said trying to give them an allubi "Its a house we used to go to when we were kids, sadly its in completely destroyed" Beverly took a seat next to Ben, her hand running softly over his. Richie had his hand resting over his mouth his foot shaking at the thoughts of the past hours.

"How dose going to dinner have anything with an old house?" Why did he keep questioning like they'd done something to the dying man. They would be the last people on earth to hurt him. They were all getting sick of the questioning but it was hitting Richie on another level. All Richie wanted was for Eddie to get through the extreme amount of pain he must be in.

"Old memories" Richie stated his hand muffling his words, he tried not to loose it,eyes looking down. He tried to keep a composed posture. The others nodded in agreement. "You guys probably have other cases to work on, we should be worrying about our friend now not these bullshit small details" he added still muffled, but they got most of his words.

"You act so concerned with the well being of the one who sits on an operating table, yet you could have less care about who put your friend in such condition. Were looking at a murder case" he focused his attention back twords Richie who's attitude raised many suspicions in the man who only saw an angry man and a bunch of torn and sad adults.

His eyes shot up twords the Police officer eyes darker than usual, brows arched. The officer had clearly crossed a line, the others noticed his reaction, they wanted to calm him down but they couldn't stop the words that came from his mouth. "Look here you fucking idiot, HES NOT DEAD. he was attacked" he dropped his hand from his mouth, his words louder and clear. He rose from the seats knuckles turning white as they clenched into tight fists. "My only focus, as well as the others is making sure he makes it out alive. Now please, all your doing is making this situation more stressful for the lot of us" now he wasn't far from the older police officer who's eyes were narrowed at the angry adult. Richie was close enough he could smell the light trace Burbon on the officers breath and the untrimmed Stuble on the mans face. "Now please, there isn't anything that you guy are going to find" he tailed off backing away from the older officer, who's eyes never left that state of suspicion.

Without much to say and tight lips, he looked over at Ben and Beverly who were sitting holding each others hands "May I speak to the two of you?" motioning away from the group so he could talk to them away from the others. They shared a confused look with the rest of the group but agreed with the nicely dressed officers.

"Yeah" Beverly responded not exactly sure why it was the two of them he wished to question them alone but the both agreed to make things easier. They both stood up and followed the officers out of the nook of chairs and passed the row of hospital food and drinks, still untouched by the group. As they walked, steps lightly echoed as they moved, Ben and Beverly shared a somewhat fearful look, both worried about Richie's current state especially if one of the officers got him alone and started prying and questioning.

Richies leg shook against the hard ground, the anger and pain slowly twisting like knifes in his stomach. "Rich there're just trying to do their job, its not like they k-know whats going on a-and its not like we could even tell them" his stutter showing slightly as he tried to comfort him in a hushed tone making sure neither officer was listening. The curly haired man kept his head down, his eyes running over the white tiles with specs of gold that glimmered in the large bright lights above.

Though they'd been there for a while he'd just noticed that smell of cleaning chemicals, though this time an obnoxious sent of overly potent flowers filled his nose. He shook his head as it ached "I don't need your bullshit now Bill" he scoffed "Now don't you tell me to calm down, were you calm when Gorgie passed?" a rather bitter tone struck in his voice. His dark hazel eyes came up to meet Bills, the same bitter look flashed in his eyes just as in his words, but Bills eyes held no hostility or judgment twords Richie, just sympathy for the man who was loosing one of the most important people in his life.

The angry furrow in his brow slowly vanished and a scene of guilt washed over him at Bills look. Softly he started with softer eyes twords bill "I'm sorry you guys" he paused as Mike moved closer in the square arrangement of chairs "I cant loose him... not again. we've already lost Stan" his eyes shut tight for a moment in pain trying to hold back the tears that wanted to fall from his face, flashes of his childhood best friend smiled in his memories. "Bill you've lost Gorgie" he said lightly meeting his eyes "These past 27 years have been hell, we've all just regained our memories, re-built our friendships, Like hell if any one thinks i'm saying goodbye, i'm not saying goodbye. Not again" he looked up with watery eyes and was meet with Bill and Mikes pitiful expressions. They all shared the same pain, just all in different ways. An unspoken moment of understanding hung in the air.

After a moment of silence between the trio, Richie broke it up "God this is pathetic" he laughed softly "Look at us crying like a bunch of babies" he tried to smile to distract himself from the reality of the situation, but the others could see through it. He looked away from their somewhat pitiful expressions, and noticed the packet that sat unfinished. "Well I think some phone calls to my tour crew should be in order, and well this packet" he picked it up, standing up to find a place to hide away from their eyes "Don't do to much crying without me girls" he flashed them a smile and turned away. He wanted to come up with something more Richie, more funny like he was used too. He wanted to find a way to hid the pain he was in, but the sadness and guilt surrounded every part of him.

He walked around the floor for a moment passing the hospital room doors some with little flowery wreaths and decorations. Something he hand't had the time to notice before, but it was something to take his mind off of everything. He passed a door that a huge cross necklace hung over, "mhm some god" he mumbled to himself. random nurses were shuffling about caring for whatever patients were hiding behind closed doors. On the way up he hadn't caught what this floor served to specifically, but to him it didn't really matter. They were all people in different amounts of pain and different levels of severity. He walked for some time down the dimly lit hallways his thoughts wondering off to the people that were behind those doors, who where they? would they make it out alive.. would Eddie make it out alive? He continued to walk until he noticed the rooms stopped and he was met with a nook of pure windows, large panels of glass overlooked the dark city below them. He walked closer to the glass the lights from below made the little raindrops look as if though they were drops of colorful paint that had yet to dry. 

Derry wasn't nearly as busy and bustling as La would of been at this time, or whatever town he'd be in for his comedy show tour. It was quite odd, he always felt like he was going, going, going. "But that's adulthood right?" he said to himself as he over looked the quite city below. "If there's anyone or thing above, please save him. He doesn't deserve to die" he whispered, his hand rested softly against the large window. 

"You would hate it in here Eds" he mused to himself "All the sick people, coughing around you" he smiled imagining Eddie right besides his voice ever so realistic, giving him shit for being in such a place, within a flash his adult reflection vanished, now he no longer stared back at himself instead there stood the 13 year old version of him and his closest ally. "How'd you get through all those hospital visits your mom put you through Spaghetti?" no response from the reflection just his empty dull laughter hung in the air. He let out a small sigh as their childhood self's disappeared leaving only the distraught adult reflection of himself. "I know you'll get through this Eds... you have too" he turned his back to the glass staring down the deserted hallways, how lonely it felt staring down the row of doors. He slid down the glass wall and turned his attention to the packet clipped to generic hospital clip bored. He untangled the the pen that hung on the clip bored and flipped through the packet. He begun to fill it out and was even somewhat surprised with himself about how much he knew about the 5ft 9inch little man he cared so much about. In reality though he had heard Eddie go over all his past sickness and medications a million and one times, so anal about his health back then, so worried about the smallest sniffle. Its like Eddies voice was in his head helping him fill out the thick packet of information, he could hear the little voice so clearly in his head it sent shivers down his spine.

Before he knew it he'd finished the packet except the back, Close family? 'Both parents had passed, no siblings' he scribbled down. No questions about friends or the likes but then came his Relationship status, part of him hated writing it down. As though realizing that Eddie did have a wife, killed a apart of him, but he filled in 'married'. He felt selfish for holding such resentment for a women he'd never met, but thinking about Eddie married twisted something inside him. And the reality of the situation hit him all over again. "If you make through this Eds I cant even tell you my feelings" he realized all of a sudden. "You're married" he chocked out as if he sat in front of him. He finished the packet and set it light besides him making sure it didn't make any noise. "here we go again you fucking idiot, you've waited to long, not only is your best friend married but lying on a surgery table and all you can think about is your stupid ass fucking feelings" he muttered into his hands.

Richie brushed back some of his curly black hair, he fumbled through his pocket for his phone surprising still in tact. He'd need to cancel a few different shows, reschedule them or something he couldn't leave Eddie Alone. He needed to see him make it through this. As he was Looking for the right phone number he heard foot steps echoing through the halls approaching him. He looked up from his device and saw an unfamiliar man approaching, it hadn't been one of the police officers, the man had't been dressed in any nurse attire, but he looked as though he was coming right twords him. 

"New dad?" the man asked a goofy smile on his face,

A look of confusion spread over his face "I'm sorry, but what?"

The mans face went red "OH i'm sorry i just assumed you in this wing you-" he paused oddly over flustered, he placed a light hand on his pale freckled face a mess of bright red hair sat a top of his head.

Richie raised a brow but it hit him, he'd been in the Delivery wing that would obviously be filled with lots of new parents "Ah don't worry about it man, If were being honest I wasn't even sure what this floor was. Were not permitted the ICU floor" he paused "Me and my friends that is, there waiting in the waiting room, i just needed to get away" he admitted caught off guard and rather embarrassed as he rambled on.

"Oh dear i'm so sorry to hear.. A close friend?" he asked with much care in his voice.

"Yeah you could say that" Richie said with a soft smile. "Care to join?" he asked looking to the spot next to him.

The stranger smiled and sat down next to the man he barley knew. "Thanks, Is your friend all right? you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to"

"I wont lie, hes not in the best condition, but I do think hell make it through this, hes gotten through so much already" a sad smile on his face.

"I hope he dose as well"

"So you're a new father?" Richie questioned turning his phone off.

"Heavens no" he laughed "My sister just gave birth, so I supose im a new uncle, but oh lord if she ever has another kid you can count that ill most definitely not be in that room" he sighed "I have no idea how women can do that" he shook his head.

Richie smiled, the conservation was rather nice "Im Richie To-" but before he could finish the man cut him off.

"Richie Tozier?!" the man asked eyes wide, than went red "Im so sorry for interrupting but i feel like an idiot for not noticing you sooner, your not on tour?" he said with delight.

"Please don't worry about it, and ah I was just about to cancel some shows, you know I wanna be here for my friend" he smiled "I've yet to ask your name?"

"Oh me i'm Frank pollens, uh my H-" the man stopped "My friend and I are a huge fan of your act, neither of us have ever seen you live but we've caught your acts many times on TV" he smiled.

It brought a sweet smile out in him "Im glad you guys enjoy it so much, I do what I can" he laughed.

The man still seemed so fascinated with him "Hes gonna freak once I tell him, and a hospital of all places" he smiled pushing back some of his orangery red hair back with his right hand, a gold band sitting in place next to his pinky finger.

It was a shot in the dark but Richie was curious "That's an 80's tradition isn't it?" Richie asked softly looking at the mans wedding band. the mans face went red and he placed his hands in his lap as if to hide it.

"Uh yeah it is" he said softly, looking over at Richie's hand as if to see if he wore a ring like his own.

Richie smiled "I have to turn this in but" he pulled the pen out again "Take my number and when I do my next show, contact me and you and-" he paused not knowing his name.

"Jim" he smiled softly.

"Ill hook you and Jim up with some tickets for being such big fans" he smiled.

The mans expression changed as he wrote down his number "Y-you don't have to do this" he said excited.

"I know, but I do do hope to see the two of you there" he smiled and stood up. the man stood up as well hugging Richie softly

"Thank you"

"Congrats on your new nephew or niece" Richie waved and walked back twords the rest of the group.

A happy smile resting on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys didnt understand, the wedding ring on a mans right hand during the 80's ment he was married/engaged to a man.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do apologize for updated so late, once things settle down i'll start posting more frequently.  
Please leave any comments or suggestions

Richie made his way back towards the group, something lighter hung around him. That conversation made him feel something that he couldn't quite describe. That man and talks of his partner brought some hope for Richie. As if that conversation had casted away all doubts of Eddie not making it through it, instead his head was only filled with the thoughts and knowing that Eddie would make it through this, and the hope of being reunited once again.

He walked down the lonely corridors trying to find a nurse that would give him a moment to talk, some one that could tell him what was going on with Eddie. But the only nurses on the floor were rushing around helping the newly born babies and their families. To busy with them to even notice the sad looking man walking down the hallways, full of families behind closed doors.

Finally, he approached the group which oddly still lacked Ben and Beverly. Richie hadn't cared to check the time at all but he did know, he had been gone for quite some time. and he knew Ben and Beverly had been pulled away by the police officers before he had even left. 

"Either of you seen Ben or Bev?" he asked "A nurse even? I haven't found a single one to even say hello" Bill and Mike broke up their conversation to look up at him. "Also did you guys realize this is the delivery floor, there are baby's screaming all up and down those halls" he said some sarcasm in his voice.

"Neither" Bill said "Ben and Bev have been gone for a while" something sad sat in the back of his words "No sign of them or the police" part of that worried Richie and it must have shown in his eyes "I don't think the police will look to much more into this, its not like there gonna find any demon clown" Bill whispered. 

Richie rolled his eyes "haha very funny, I'm leaving again losers gotta go find a human to give this too" he flicked his hand up with the clip bored.

As he turned to leave mike called out his name he turned around "You forgot these" Mike called tossing him his car keys. It hit him then that he'd never even shut his car off. 

"Thanks" he said quite embarrassed as he caught the keys as he tossed them towards him.

"Off to find out whats going on with Eds" Richie half smiled and headed away.

"we'll know something soon" Mike said softly keeping the hope for both Eddie and for Richie's sake.

Richie returned the smile and approached the large gray elevator doors as he shoved the keys into his pocket. His hand brushed against the open button, it turned a bright red as he clicked it. Within a moment the large doors opened up with a ding. He stepped into the open, empty gray box. He took a breath and pushed the button that would lower him to the first floor.

The doors opened one last time and he was back in the hospital Lobby, that harsh smell of chemicals still in the air. Large statues and messages of God and hope plastered behind pieces of glass decorated the down stairs lobby. He finally got a scene of what the place had looked like. In the rush he hadn't even payed attention to the large fountain in the middle of the room, small coins decorated the water, leaving beautiful copper colors on the water below. 

His feet tapped against the hospital floors as he made his way around all the distracting decorations and to the front lobby desk, where they had all hastily sighed in. As he approached the nurses looked up at him with wide eyes, he wasn't sure at first until one of them shrieked something "Sir are you ok??" she stepped further away from the counter her voice rather high pitched and scared. Both stood in their respective places for a moment until he looked down at his bloody clothes.

"I'm fine, I had a friend who was in an accident?" he stepped so he was facing the white faced nurse "Eddie Kaspbek, I uh, have his papers right here" he brought up the clip bored up towards the lobby desk. Her blue eyes were still wide staring at the blood covering the majority of his upper body, her hand grazing across the table retrieving the clip bored, her eyes though never left the blood. The other nurse looked over and he had realized she'd been on of the nurses from earlier. He turned his attention away from the wide eyed nurse and turned to her "My friend, the one we all brought in here. Chest injury. Hows he doing?" his brows raising in worry.

The worry eyed nurse scanned through the papers to give her self something to do. "Sir He's yet to be transferred to ICU" she paused "Hes still in surgery, with an injury like that-" she stopped herself "..he could be there for a while.." the lack of hope in her voice frightened him.

"You can't say this is the worse injury you've ever seen?" he asked his hands holding on to the edge of the counter. 

"we've seen much worse" he wasn't exactly convinced by the other nurses expression "But with an injury like that, where its placed and all, the best hope is that it didn't cut through any major arteries, or an organ"

The floor seemed to sway under his feet. "How do you not know? You saw him, you work here shouldn't you know?" his words came out almost as a plea with bits of anger.

A somewhat pitiful expression crossed her dark eyes "You and your friends will be updated as soon as hes moved out of the surgery wing, but there's nothing you can do right now" she took the clip bored from the other nurse and turned towards her computer, looking at the paper then back at the computer hands typing away. "I'm sorry" she said as he stood there staring at her "The best thing for you and your friends would be getting some sleep, when your friend comes to, he'll need the lot of you to be strong. And you cant be strong looking like that"

normally he'd have come back with some sarcastic remark be he knew she wasn't wrong. If and when he made it through surgery he would need them as support. Not looking like they just fought off a demon clown. He walked away from the front desk pushing some of his matted hair away from his face. His whole body felt gross and disgusting inside and out, as if he could throw up at any moment. feeling queasy he followed the signs that led him to the bathroom. He opened the door lightly and made his way inside. He didn't hear or see a single being in side. 

Richie turned towards the marbled gray and white sinks, reflecting the light above. His eyes shifted up towards the mirrors reflecting his current depressive state. Then he saw and understood what made the nurse so fearful. Blood covered the majority of his upper torso, still dried on his face and glasses, dirt stuck all over his body and clothes. His hair a matted mess mostly too his scalp. He frowned at the mirror and the reflection he saw. Removing his glasses, his vision blurred as he placed them next to the sink. He turned on the sink water pouring out, luke warm at best. His hands ran under the semi warm water, the dirt discoloring the water a brown. Rubbing some soap over his long fingers until they felt clean enough to touch his face with. His now clean hands ran over his face, it felt more than refreshing to get the blood and dirt off his face. Hands trailed down to his neck and around. "Eds your gonna make it through this" he said his breath short and shallow as the water ran down his neck. 

The water continued to run as he starred at his reflection, the blood wiped mostly from his face. His eyes lacked that beautiful child like allure to them he maintained most of the time even if he didn't always feel that way, and his eyes still deep with fear. Real fear. Fear that, that fucking clown that had taken so much from them already would take Eddie as well. "You best be fucking dead" little expression shown on his face. "I cant bare to loose Eddie, not again. Not this fucking time" his teeth clenched as he shook his head slightly anger flashing in his eyes, the blood stained clothes making his heart skip. "twice you fucking clown, twice you tried to destroy us, attack our weakness. Making us feel as though we were nothing. We got through it the first time, formed a bond that couldn't be broken. Until we all split up" he choked tears forming with his words "You came back, brought us all together but you took Stan, and you tried to take Eddie. Clowns should have been left as a childhood fear, something that couldn't hurt us" his brows furrowed at his reflection, yet his face stood in the mirror he didn't recognize it. Not with the anger that shown all over his face and body, his knuckles turing white as they clenched against the counter.

His crazed ramblings to himself stopped and the sobs began all over again "God your fucking weak Richie Toizer" he mumbled to himself.

"Clown?" an unfamiliar voice broke through his state of pain and fear. A new fear arose in him. His heart started beating as though it would beat out of his chest, his vision blurred still as he placed his glasses back on. To afraid to look at the voice, not even sure if the voice actually belonged to another human or just inside his head, he un-gripped his aching hands and washed his hands again as though nothing had happened.

It spoke again "27 years right?" the voice was a bit shaky. How could this person know? Richie couldn't see the man in the mirror. Reluctantly and afraid he turned around, being met face to face with the cop who hadn't spoken earlier.

Richie's face turned pale and his legs felt unstable, shaking slightly beneath him so he grabbed the counter behind him still facing the small police officer. He opened his mouth to speak but He couldn't find the words, resembling a younger Bill if anything. The anger flashed away from his face and was replaced by confusion, not sure if he was hearing this man right or if he was going completely insane. "H-how?" he managed to get out finally. "Pennywise?" Richie said weakly.

The officers whole expression changed, dark eyes stared up at Richie, he wasn't lying. The same expression glued to the officers face as Richie had seen in himself in the mirror.He knew the horrors they'd all been through, another kids childhood taken away by that demon.

"My sister, t-that's the name" he began with sad eyes "that 'thing' got her, she came back physically mostly in one piece" he paused staring at the taller man "Not mentally" he started opening up to the stranger. "They locked her up, but of course I believed her, how could i not, especially after so many kids went missing. Your friends brother" he paused "I remembered. i've been putting it all together, This passed week, I tried to tell myself 'not again, it couldn't happen again' but then the kids went missing. You and your friends returned"

It wasn't in the slightest unbelievable that this man could have encountered that demon. As kids no one ever talked about the cause. Either parents unbelieving of their kids, the kids to afraid of what others might think. Or the kids like the officers sister who did say something. 

"I-im sorry.." Richie trailed off "We thought we killed it all those years ago, oh boy were we wrong" he cleared his throat "Its taken so much from us, our friends our family, it best be dead this time" he uncleanched his hands and propped himself against the counter. "I do apologize for-" he begun to apologize for his actions an hour or so earlier.

"Don't" the officer said gently "You and yours friends don't need this, not when you need to be their for your friend. I'm just sorry I couldn't have let you in on it earlier, I wasn't sure" he paused "You don't need to worry about me or my partner again, ill get this cleared up".

Richie wasn't exactly sure how this little man could explain they had not involvement in hurting their friend rather a demonic clown from another world had everything to do with it. Though he must have read the perplexed expression on his face "You'll be surprised what we police officers can do, please take care" a sad but understanding smile on his face "Your friend. He'll make it through this, hes lucky to have friends like you" the officer turned away to the stalls.

"Thank you" Richie muttered sincerely nodding his head. Now if only they could go see Eddie, things would be better. He took one last look in the mirror, helplessness and hope reflected back to him, his eyes still heavy but he tried to wipe most of the look away, wiping his last tear away and exiting the small bathroom.

He shoved his hands into his pockets, the waiting room seeming chiller than before. The room seemed fuller than before. People bustling about, mainly staff. And the chairs filled with people. All different, all with lives that had stopped at this moment for one reason or another. To get help or to be there for a friend or family. In that moment he wished good luck apon them all. No matter who they were or the circumstances they may be in. Seeing something in each and everyone of them that reminded him of his friends and himself. He just wished they'd make it through whatever they'd been going through. After an odd amount of time people watching he flashed a person walking by a small smile and headed to the elevator.

Before he made it to the large doors his phone started ringing, slightly startled he looked down and pulled his phone out. His manager. he answered "Just the man I was looking for" he plastered a fake smile on his lips, a lighter happier tone to match his face "We need to talk about show dates" he added as he stepped onto the elevator alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just got back from a Shakespeare festival that was beyond amazing. So I should be getting back into the groove soon.


	4. Chapter 4

The elevator dinged as Richie reached the 5th floor. He finished his conversation as the large doors opened shoving his phone into his pocket, as he stepped off the elevator. Show dates had been taken care of, but he really only cared about Eddies condition. He noticed as he made his way back to the group Ben and Beverly had joined. He joined them in the square arrangement of chairs. The group looked up at him, how sad this all was. 27 years ago they were a strong seven, now there only stood five. One lay in the ground and the other lay on a hospital bed with fate undecided. 

"What did the po-po say?" Richie questioned hands finding their way into his jean pockets as he sat on the arm of one of the chairs.

Bev and Ben both looked at each other, not sure who would speak up to the group "Not much truthfully" Bev spoke up "They kept questioning us, like they did with you guys" she paused "They stopped after a while not getting anything new"

"Something was definitely off with that one officer, he still didn't say a single word. Stayed quite like he was anaylizing us or something" Ben added, eyes wandering over to Bev who sat in the chair Richie was leaned up against.

"I just hope they put this shit to rest" Bev sipped on some drink in hand.

Richie nodded taking it all in. If the smaller police officer wasn't fucking with him, Richie knew the investigation of this drama would all be over, if only Eds could get through this, he thought eyes on the tiled floor. "Any word on Ed's?" he said aloud eye brows raised "Downstairs I finally found someone to talk to, but she didn't have much to say" he paused looking around at all their eyes "At least nothing we wanted to hear anyway".

"No" Bill shifted in his chair, those blue eyes of his focused on Beverly "Not a single nurse has even come our way" Mike nodded in agreement,. Bills eyes filled with a mix of confusion and hurt as they shifted over to Richie's.

He had figured that would be the response he'd get from the others, not a single soul had come to check up on them, a receptionist didn’t even serve the front desk on this floor so obviously any hands on deck would be going towards the newly born babies and their families.

Bev and Ben eyes met once again, soon glancing the other way as if they were two kids afraid of the feelings they had for each other. That feeling that Richie knew all too well. Even the look in Bills eyes wanting something, or someone with every aspect of his being so bad when he knows that deep down that person or thing can never truly be his no matter how much he wants it. The only thing that Had changed now was who is giving the looks. 27 years ago it had been Ben who yearned so hard for Beverly thinking Bill would be the victor, in the game of love between the trio. “Oh how the tables have turned” Richie thought to himself. Back then he knew one, if not all of them would walk away heartbroken and Unsatisfied.

After observing the trios exchange of different looks mike spoke up, more to Richie than anyone ”Come on Ed’s a fighter, he got stabbed in the face then with that same knife got Bowers right in the stomach, he’ll put up a fight Richie” mike’s eyes were soft and the words pulled Richie away from the depths of his thoughts the sadness of what would happen to the trio, they couldn’t all walk away happy. 

Mike was right, Eddie is a fighter. Still naturally part of Richie feared his fate. His fear held such a tight grip against him, just as it always had, but now every fear he had ever felt, felt so insignificant compared to the fear of losing Eddie again. 

“I know” he smiled lightly “ The idiot stabbed a fucking clown god dammit” his smile growing then It hit him, he didn’t just stab the clown, and he had to have the goddamn thing well he hung in the air card and the dead lights is expression changed again “ I would’ve been dead if it wasn’t for Eddie” he stopped focusing on Mike and turned his eyes towards the floor, hiding his look.

Mike looked down at the floor, Richie in a way was right he thought. When Richie had been attacked the first time by what has been a nightmare that was Stanleys head spider, Eddie had stood by but he didn’t the second time. He believed in him self. 

Richie blinked the tears away wiping the few stray tears away before addressing the group “We should stop by the lodge, a few of us at least” he paused “clean up, get some clothes for Ed’s once he gets through the surgery or whatever” his face blank as he stared at the floor “He needs us to look better than this, you know he’d freak if we all walked in like this” A small smile crossing his face, but as soon as it appeared it disappeared. They all shared a look of agreement. He was right they needed to look more uniform for Eddie.

“I’ll go with you rich” Beverly spoke up moving her attention away from the two dreamy eyed man. As much as he wanted to clean himself up and get the stuff, he worried about being away from that dreadful hospital worried about Eddies condition. He looked over at Bev not sure about leaving with Eddie’s fate so up in the air. She shared a small smile with Richie as if to tell him everything would be OK if they left for a little bit “it’ll be all right” she mouthed to him. Speaking to the rest of the group she said “Richie and I will head out I’ll bring my car over and check on the rest of yours” she had reminded all of them that they left their cars in the shadiest neighborhood in Derry. at her words, Richie jumped off the side of the chair and waited for Beverly to follow.

“If you guys hear a single thing please call” Richie added as they walked off towards the elevator.

“We will” The remaining three almost set in complete unison. They all looked at each other as the pair entered the elevator.

The door shut them in for the departure downstairs. “So Ben?” Richie stared down his feet not sure exactly what he was suggesting.

Silence. She looked over at him are you still down. She sighed “He wrote that card for me Rich” a light blush sweeping across her face “ For all these years I thought it was the one who wrote the card for me. What an idiot I was. Ben kept holding on...” she trailed off an odd tone in her voice.

That was an understatement at best. Ben wanted more than anything to be with his childhood crush. Even now Richie could see Ben’s love for Beverly. The night that they all arrived in Derry Ben’s look of love for the redhead have been more than obvious at least from his outside perspective. That boy radiated love for her, how could she have not seen it? He kept to himself not wanting to ask any questions that would make her feel worse than she already did.

“I call being best man” he said a goofy smile on his face. His over enthusiastic smile brought a warm feeling to her stomach the first real smile she had seen from him in a while.

She punched his arm playfully returning the smile “I wish it were that simple, if we could run off tomorrow” She sighed “ Legally I’m still married“

Richie interrupted “To a sad excuse of a man” he added. 

She ignored him and went on “We own some of the biggest high end clothing lines. Richie that’s gonna be an ugly divorce“ her smile fading “ I couldn’t put Ben through all that, I need to face up to my shit before I drag him into any of it” 

A soft smile hit Richie “He would go through hell and back for you Bev you’re crazy if you think a little divorce will scare him off” he paused “ You do know he won’t back off? He loves you... and the way you two look at each other I wish I-“ he stopped him self before he finished “ All I’m saying is I give you my full and utter permission to marry him” that smile even bigger than before.

“Thanks for the permission Richie” her lips curled into a sweet smile.

The elevator dings and the doors opened as they stopped on the ground floor. “After you” Richie motioned Bev out of the elevator and followed behind.

They walked out of the hospital, lights slowly flickering above. The small chatter of people waiting, filled the rather large hospital lobby. The first thing Richie had noticed was his car no longer sat in the front of the hospital. Like it hard when it first arrived all those hours ago.

“Mike came down earlier and parked your car, so would be safer” Bev said as she lead the way to the beautiful red sports car parked in the parking lot. in the rush he had left his car just out and running for all to see.

“I love you people” he smiled at her as they approached his car, with the click of a button the doors unlocked turning on the bright lights which lit up the misty early morning trees. The air nipping at their exposed skin.

The pair each open the doors and got inside. Richie immediately turning the car and the heat, seeing his half ass packed bag inside the car. After a moment of warming up he began to pull out of the hospital parking lot. Morning due clung onto the grass and his windshield. The windshield wipers taking care of the morning droplets. His hands carefully holding onto the steering wheel navigating through the pretty empty roads of small little dairy quiet at this time.

“Isn't it odd, odd all the things that of been coming back to me. I see a certain street and I can see the seven of us all there. Back when we were kids, annoying the hell out of each other but still loving each other just as much” Richie continued to stare watery eyed at the roads in front of him, passing a car every now and again.

Bev nodded at his words, hitting her all too well.

“The sad thing is, I don’t even remember forgetting you guys. I can’t even begin to remember how we all left each other” he shifted his eyes to her setting her blank expression as she listened “ And it makes me question if that’s even normal, how the hell can the people we are closest with become distant memories” her expression hadn't changed and he focused back towards the road. He remembered the conversation the group had all those years ago about what life would be like when the were older, Stan even bringing up if they’d all be friends as adults.

After some silence she had something to say “Our childhood was less than normal Richie” she sighed “ It’s complicated. We didn’t forget each other” her eyes staring at the road “we just moved on".

Instantly he responded words bitter “We ran away from our problems, so why the hell did we all move on? Why couldn’t we all have at least stayed in contact... we ran away from each other" he paused "If I could do it all over again, before we all split up, I would have never forgotten you guys”

“Richie” her expression changed “ You can’t in anyway put that blame on yourself it would’ve still come back“ she refrained from commenting on stan's situation, instead pain and sadness swelled in her eyes. Which he knew all too well.

“If Stan would have stayed with us, if we would’ve stayed with Stan he could’ve become braver could’ve gotten through this. We were always stronger together..” he stopped the tears from falling from his eyes, trying to keep some dignity.

“Richie you don’t know that. We didn’t know that it would come back. Stan..” she couldnt finish her sentence the pain coming back.

“But we all made a promise to reunited if it ever did, why couldn’t we have all promised to stay together. Why couldn’t that oath of been 'let’s not separate let’s not forget each other” some anger peaking through his words mostly at him self.

“Richie we all created li-“ he cut her off before she could finish her thought.

“Bullshit Bev, fucking Bullshit Bev. were any of us happy?!” She didn’t say anything hands just fidgeting with each other trying to distract herself.

"I'm a comedian who isn't even funny enough to write his own shit, Eddie remarried a woman who is basically his fucking mother. You, Ben, and Bill are all incredibly successful... Yet, all of your fucking miserable. Mike stayed here and tortured himself with the crime and history of this town” He Continued to ramble as Bev stayed silent. “I thought maybe Stan was the happiest out of the lot of us, that maybe Stan had been able to get out of the hell that was our childhood. Found someone to love even " he trailed off "but who knows what he held onto” He wasn’t entirely wrong, they were all miserable wanting things they couldn’t have or unfulfilling careers. Yet she wondered how much was normal and how much was caused due to the childhood they had.

“Richie havn't our parents done the same? Run away from their problems, sure that thing played a part but how different would our lives be if we hadn’t gone through what we had?” He made a sharp turn into the parking lot of the Lodge tossing the pair about the wheel squeaking is it made a stop. 

“How can you be so stupid?” His voice bitter eyes narrowing at her “Stan wouldn’t be dead, and he wouldn’t be lying under a team of doctors trying to save him” he started choking up the thought. It was all delusions, he couldn’t possibly know what life would have been like if IT hadn’t come into their life’s.

She ignored his words “ We may have never become friends Richie, IT is the thing that brought us all together” she said softly his eyes still turned away from hers.

“Didn’t we give that all up by leaving each other, moving on forgetting, or whatever the hell you wanna call it” his hands tracing the leather of the steering wheel.

She didn’t have an answer and neither did he “ Why couldn’t they have been another way, a way that we all made it out of this un-harmed” The tears he tried to hold back kept building up in his eyes “ What’s up with these fucking tears” he tried to laugh them away sick of the burning of his eyes and the feeling of pain and guilt stabbing so painful in his stomach.

She wrapped a light arm around his chest and buried her face in his shoulder, the tears staining her face. He held onto her hand tight so many memories flooding back to him, during the summer they all met. He knew he wouldn’t of given that up even for a normal childhood, he just wish they all could’ve made it out together. If only. If only...

“Rich” she started her words muffled against her skin “I wish things were different too I really do. We all ran away from our past but one of their choice do we have” she titled her head so her words were more audible “ We can’t change the past and you shouldn’t feel guilty, we can’t change it Richie“ 

"I'm sorry" he mumbled. Still they held onto each other, Richie layed his head against the head rest, it was hard for him not to feel that guilty, maybe just maybe if he could’ve told him back then, how he felt, how he truly felt instead of hiding behind that comedic mask he wore more often than not, maybe then Eddie would be all right. Maybe they all would be.

Lost in thought, Beverly lifted her head from his shoulder making him more conscious of reality, she knew the look in his eyes, that guilt that built up from those thoughts and all those what if’s that she knew all too well.

“Stop the what if’s” she said almost a soft plea “We can’t possibly know what would’ve happened“

As much as he hated to admit it she was right, the past was the past and they couldn’t change that no matter how hard he wanted to. He used the back of his hand to stop some of the tears.

“We better hurry up“ he muttered his eyes running over her face “I want to get back before Ed's wakes up“ he turned off the car and grabbed the somewhat packed bag and open the door.

He and Beverly made their way to the front door. They let themselves in making their way to their respective rooms. Richie climbed the stairs and headed towards zone room entering he noticed the drawers pulled out due to the hurry of his packing he had left a lot of his possessions behind nothing of great importance since he hadn’t really brought much with him. He scanned over a few of them, picking a few shirts up, placing them in the rather small bag. He left a change of clothes out for after his shower. After a moment of mindless staring he was pulled away from the soft sounds of water running in Beverlys room across the hall. It sounded as if she'd been saying something. Not particularly to anyone but herself. He couldn't make out the words from where he stood, in the dimly lit bedroom. He let out a sigh and made his way into the conjoined bathroom.

The tiles looked rather similar to those of the hospital, yet here the tiles didn't glitter like those of the hospital. as dull and lonely as the hospital was, here he was alone with his thoughts. the thoughts that jabbed like little knifes into his fears. though physically he stood n the bathroom, mentally he was spiraling. in reality he was gripping onto the cold porcilene sink, in his mind he held tightly onto eddies body. In his mind he was not looking at himself in the mirror rather that god forsaken clown, who's lips were curled ever so devilishly. as if satisfied with eddies current state. He gripped tighter onto what his mind was telling him was Eddie "Leave us alone" his words weak but enough to pull him from the grips of his mind.

Snapping out of it, he no longer started at the clown but rather himself, his white knuckled hands let go of the porcelain sink. He turned away from his dull expression that stared him down. he began to undress hoping that the warm water would give him some peace.

He turned the water on, the water splashed heavily into the shower. he waited until the steam built up before stepping into the hot water, closing the curtain behind him. The hot water sent shivers down his spine. The warm water almost stinging against his cold skin, yet it was oddly nice. he squirted some soap on his hands, rubbing the dirt from his face then travailing down to his chest. the dirt washing away as he scrubbed at his skin. The sweet feeling of the water taking away the dirt distracted himself from the fear he felt, the steam opened up his throat, his lungs, and his nose. so clogged from the dirty disgusting gray water and smog they'd all been exposed too. Not to mention all the crying Richie had in the past 24 hours. He could no longer taste the dirt or gray water from the sewers, now the sweet scents of the soapy water that covered his body filled his scenes. A moment of peace really for his ever racing mind. After a while of the his mind lost in the sweet rush of the water, he came to and turned the water off, the steam making its way towards the fan above. As the water was now silenced he pulled back the curtain, the small metal ring clinking against the bar above. He stepped out grabbing a towel off the rack, as he wrapped it around his bare body. The excess water being absorbed. 

Richie made his way towards the steam covered mirror and grabbed his cracked glasses. As he put them on his surroundings no longer looked like one large blur. He smeared his hand across the steamy mirror small water droplets replacing the steam his reflection somewhat more visible. At best he looked more presentable, less scattered then before. Yet emotionally his fear still ate away at him. Both the fear of Eddies current state and his feelings for his best friend. he tried to bring a small smile to his face, something to convince himself that they would all make it through this. He wanted to be okay. Okay for once in life, but a smile couldn't change the way he felt about everything. he started at himself a moment longer. This wasn't about him or his stupid feelings, he should be focused on Eddies recovery not on this feelings. he had waited 27 years to tell him, what was a few days more? He couldn't be sure on how long he would have to wait, but he did know that Eddie was in no condition to have such strong emotions pushed onto him.

Richie pulled the towel from his body, and used it to dry off his mess of curly hair. Once he pulled back the towel a big fluffy mess was left. He pulled a comb from his messy bag, to try and tame his mess of hair somewhat. He took the comb out of his bag, trying to tame the mess of his hair. he put his clothes on, and walked his stuff back into the bedroom taking another look around the room to be sure he hadn't left anything behind. He took a deep breath, knowing sooner or later he'd have to go into Eddies room and get the rest of his stuff, yet something stopped him. That small voice in his head, Eddies voice. Telling him that everything would be okay. he stood in the middle of the room, tears budding in the corners of his eyes. 

"I hope so Ed's" he took a deep breath and left his room, making his way towards Eddies. Walking passed Beverly, he no longer heard the running of water, only soft humming as she got her stuff together. He opened Eddies bedroom door, squeaks came from the rusty hinges as it was pushed opened. As Richie flicked the light on he saw Eddies two large suit cases, packed to the brim with different things. "Its like you packed for the end of the world ed's" he smiled to himself, but not at all out of character for the small man.

He looked around, most everything had already been packed into the large suit cases. He wasn't exactly sure what to bring for the brunette. If there was any medication he needed the hospital was sure to have it, at least he figured. After a moment of thinking he made his way over to the large bags. Opening the first layed an array of different shirts and different pants. he pulled a red polo from the top of the pile, a dark pair of long pants and some shorts just in case. he placed the neatly folded clothes to the side and started on the next bag. unzipping the second revealed an array of different medications To anyone besides their small group the contents of the bag would have made Eddie seem a drug addict. Most of them being things Richie had never even heard of. 

A small black book caught his attention. The front cover made of some faux leather, in gold the book read "Phone numbers" Richie raised a brow as he reached for the small little book. "Kasbrack.. this is what phones are for" a grin covering his face as he opened it. he thumbed through the little book. Filled with names and numbers that were unfamiliar to him. before he could close the little book a piece of paper from the end fell onto the light bedding. with his free hand he picked up the folded piece of paper, browned and torn with age. Yet another paper of numbers, at first the numbers were unfamiliar, not knowing the numbers but recognizing the names besides them. Seven names and seven numbers, Eddies home phone placed at the top of the list. Then it hit him, Eddie must have kept these numbers in that little fanny pack of his he wore so often in their younger days. 

It warmed his heart to think that he'd kept all of their phone numbers for this long, had he remembered the faces those names and numbers belonged to? before he folded the small paper back up something caught his eye. At first they looked only as small red smudges scribbled next to "Richie Toizer" but they seemed to almost resemble hearts.. Logically smudges would be prevalent, for that paper had to be at least 27 years old, yet Richie's mind wondered else where. Had Eddie.. No. He couldn't have? If Eddie had felt anything for Richie.. even back then, had they gone away?

"Looking for Myras number" Beverly's voice broke his thoughts. He handn't even noticed her foot steps approach. He looked over at her. Her hair still somewhat damp from the shower, a nice outfit paring her clean look. He quickly folded the piece of paper and placed it back in to book.

"I suppose" Myra was the last person Richie felt like talking to now.

"We do have to let her know Rich" she said quietly as she made her way over to him, understanding the un-wanting in his eyes.

he cleared his throat, dramatically lifted his hand to his ear as if using it as a phone "Hello? Mrs. K 2.0, yes? This is Richie Toizer, your husbands childhood best friend. who hates you only because truthfully im love with your husband, anyway you see Eddie got attacked by this demon clown that's been terrorizing us since we were kids and yeah id rather you not show up" the sarcasm over played in his voice, his fake smile fading. "That's gonna be a fun phone call Bev..."

"Richie" she sighed, eyes soft. 

"I know, I know" he said as he sat down on the bed, and thumbed through the small book. Beverly sat besides him, and rested her head on his shoulder.

"Here goes nothing"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im so extremely sorry this took almost 3 months to update, life just tends to get in the way of the things we actully want to do.
> 
> Ill try and update on a better scheduled


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